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This
is Assistant Dean of Academic Programs Jim Spain's response when
asked to describe his experience with comedian Kirk Noland. During
Comedy Night, Noland called Spain and pretended to be a midget.
The phone rang and caller I.D. indicated the call was coming from
a "Private Name" - "Private Number." My parents
in North Carolina have an unlisted phone number, and I expected
my folks to be on the other end of the line. The mechanical voice
on the other end caught me by surprise and my first thought was,
"This is my nephew who is playing a trick on his Uncle Jim."
By nature, I am very competitive, and I certainly didn't want my
nephew to get the best of me. I saw this as a game of "telephone
chicken" or a stare-down. In other words, who was going to
give up first? I launched into a tirade of what I can only recall
now as gibberish and psychotic laughter. The goal - not to let the
caller get a word in and ultimately to give up - "remove the
mask" of his mechanical voice and reveal his identity. Sometime
during the conversation, I realized it wasn't my nephew - probably
when the "voice" said something about "Mr. Spain
is doing pot." I knew my nephew wouldn't make a comment like
that because the only pot he would know anything about is the kitchen
variety. Nonetheless, I was in the game to stay and to win! All
accounts are that it was a pretty entertaining conversation for
those who heard both sides of the conversation. My family, listening
to only one side of the exchange, was concerned that I had finally
gone over the edge. My wife asked, "Who are you talking to?"
to which I replied with a shrug of the shoulders. And as suddenly
as it began, it stopped. I WON. But within minutes, the phone rang
again, with the same phone number id. I expected it was the original
caller giving up - maybe they had to remove the device from the
phone to talk normally. Instead, it was the voice again, the "enemy"
returned and again, I launched into an offensive attack - and the
line went dead.
Friday morning, a student asked if I had gotten a weird phone call
- and that is when I learned that I had been part of the fun at
Comedy Night. I enjoyed it and was proud to have gotten the best
of this professional comedian. The mascot for Mizzou is the Tigers,
a name attributed to a band of militia that defended the community
against raiders. I was pleased to "defend" the MU home
field - better luck next time, Noland.
Originally posted 10/11/02
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2002 CAFNR Corner Post |
