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This is Assistant Dean of Academic Programs Jim Spain's response when asked to describe his experience with comedian Kirk Noland. During Comedy Night, Noland called Spain and pretended to be a midget.



The phone rang and caller I.D. indicated the call was coming from a "Private Name" - "Private Number." My parents in North Carolina have an unlisted phone number, and I expected my folks to be on the other end of the line. The mechanical voice on the other end caught me by surprise and my first thought was, "This is my nephew who is playing a trick on his Uncle Jim." By nature, I am very competitive, and I certainly didn't want my nephew to get the best of me. I saw this as a game of "telephone chicken" or a stare-down. In other words, who was going to give up first? I launched into a tirade of what I can only recall now as gibberish and psychotic laughter. The goal - not to let the caller get a word in and ultimately to give up - "remove the mask" of his mechanical voice and reveal his identity. Sometime during the conversation, I realized it wasn't my nephew - probably when the "voice" said something about "Mr. Spain is doing pot." I knew my nephew wouldn't make a comment like that because the only pot he would know anything about is the kitchen variety. Nonetheless, I was in the game to stay and to win! All accounts are that it was a pretty entertaining conversation for those who heard both sides of the conversation. My family, listening to only one side of the exchange, was concerned that I had finally gone over the edge. My wife asked, "Who are you talking to?" to which I replied with a shrug of the shoulders. And as suddenly as it began, it stopped. I WON. But within minutes, the phone rang again, with the same phone number id. I expected it was the original caller giving up - maybe they had to remove the device from the phone to talk normally. Instead, it was the voice again, the "enemy" returned and again, I launched into an offensive attack - and the line went dead.
Friday morning, a student asked if I had gotten a weird phone call - and that is when I learned that I had been part of the fun at Comedy Night. I enjoyed it and was proud to have gotten the best of this professional comedian. The mascot for Mizzou is the Tigers, a name attributed to a band of militia that defended the community against raiders. I was pleased to "defend" the MU home field - better luck next time, Noland.


Originally posted 10/11/02


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