Ask Ginger Archives



Ask Ginger began as a random joke that escaped my mouth during a CAFNR Corner Post planning session. I was laughing as I said it, but no one else was. They all loved the idea and I was astounded. Geez, I was kidding. I still am a bit amazed by it all, but it is so much fun that I can hardly stop now. So send me your woes and your wows - I will reply to as many questions as possible. I may not have all the answers (and I certainly don't have all the right ones) but I will give it my best. Questions can be about anything you wish. They can be serious or funny or anything in between. Think of it as Dear Abby…without the Abby. I look forward to receiving your questions! :-)


Q: I am a full-fledged groupie. I follow around GDI members like I am their pet or their slave. I don't know what to do because I simply think they are the greatest people on Earth. They certainly know how to party and I think that is what draws me to them. I want to stop but I can't. I have tried to do things with other people on nights that they get together but I always find myself back with them again. What can I do?    
-- Groupied Out

A: I think that you need to look at the reasons why you want to make yourself stop. What has caused this decision not to hang out with them? If you realize this it could help you to know if you should even stop hanging out with them. But hanging out and being their slave are two different things. If you are not being their slave it is fine and probably healthy. On the other hand, if you are doing it to try to get closer to some guy or girl in the group by being their slave I think that you should decide if that should be a priority in your life or not. It is up to you, but I wouldn't continue to be a slave if you have this much indecision about it.

Q: Since spring has sprung I have no longer wanted to go to class. I sometimes hit the snooze FOURTEEN times! Then my roommate tells me to get my lazy a$$ out of bed and I still don't. I have missed all of my classes for the last week and I haven't done anything productive in all those days except eat. Now I am as big as a Goodyear blimp and I am rapidly losing my self-esteem. Now I don't want to go to class because I don't want anyone to see me. What do I do, Ginger, because I cannot flunk out of college!
-- Not Springing Back to Class

A: I feel your pain. Since spring has started showing its beautiful face I have had trouble making myself go to class but I do other things to make myself want to go to class. First of all, I put on a really springy outfit or a skirt and that makes me want to show everyone my outfit and not miss class. Then I tell myself that the more I go to class the less I have to study, it works for me but as people can tell you, I am a little bit different than others! As far as your blimpy problem, I am sure that you have not really gained any weight that won't come off as soon as you start going to class and living life again. A week is simply not enough time to gain a lot of weight. But if you do want to lose weight subscribe to a health magazine, eat in a healthy way and exercise. If you need an exercise partner, just contact me, I would be happy to help you!

Q: If Teflon is a non-stick surface how do you get it to stick to the pan?
-- Sticking to My Guns

A: In this truly sticky situation, one must realize that the answer has been staring them in the face the entire time. It is common sense. It is called manufacturing and some wonderful chemical processes cause this lovely stuff to stick to the pans so that you can enjoy cooking without having to worry about the fruit of your labors sticking ungloriously to the pan. Long live Teflon!

Q: If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Just Wondering in Columbia

A: Ok, I know that I could be difficult and unbelievably unfair and say that every time a man speaks he is wrong, but in all honesty, it just isn't the truth. There are men like Watson and Crick, who at least were right about the double helix structure of DNA. Don't get me wrong, men are wrong most of the time but that moment in the forest when they are alone, why would they have a reason to be wrong. It makes one wonder about another question…If there was no woman around to hear what a man had to say would he ever be wrong?

Q: If flies didn't have wings, would we call them walks?
-- Plagued with Transportation Problems

A: Wouldn't flies be ugly if they didn't have wings? I mean they would look like a munchkinized hairy ants. Yuck. I don't even want to think about it but since you made me I guess I will attempt to think about the disgusting little creatures. I don't know if I would call flies without wings walks or not. I don't think I would. With all due respect, this is a rhetorical question that I am attempting to answer because no one else is sending me questions. This should be one of those questions you ponder with a close group of friends when none of you will remember what the heck you were talking about in the morning. File this one away in your party manuals boys and girls; it is a keeper.

Q: If you were in Kansas in the middle of the blizzard and the wind stopped, would you have an avalanche?
-- Clueless in Kansas

A: This question makes this girl think of other similar riddles. If a tree fell in the middle of a wood with nobody to hear it, would it still make a sound? If men never gave women flowers, would they still hang around? Does anyone honestly care if an avalanche would occur or not? I mean, why the heck would you be in Kansas at all, let alone during a blizzard. You must already be insane and it would be better for you to be covered up from this highly unlikely avalanche along with all those other ugly blue birds. Would the wind ever really stop in the middle of a blizzard? I just didn't learn that fact in my Introduction to Atmospheric Science class, but somehow I don't think I needed to. If anyone ever encounters this, please let me know. I will send the proper authorities to help. Will someone please get the mental hospital on the line...

Q: If a person speaks multiple languages, what language do they think in?
-- Deep Thinker

A: I have known some people who speak several languages and I have actually asked them this question. It seems that they think in the language of the moment. They think in every language. Quite odd, but unbelievably true. This leads me to ponder this other question. If I think in French can I articulate it?

Q: When girls go off together and talk all secret-like, it is really a secret and do they really need to hide? They aren't swapping nuclear launch codes or something, are they?
-- Very Confused Boy

A: Listen up men! Girls go off together and talk all secret-like because we are probably talking about something you just don't want to hear about. Do you really want to know we are talking about that hot waiter or how the panty hose we are wearing are driving us insane? I mean we don't really need to hide but why not? We don't have anything better to do and why not keep the men wondering? Nuclear launch codes, now there is an idea…

Q: Since the winter months have done nothing but fizzle so far this year, I am worried winter, like March, will be in like a lamb out like a lion. If the snow falls heavily in the last months of winter or early months of spring, we might need to stock up supplies for heat. So, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood for me? And what would be a fair price? Teasing a weasel isn't nice and cheating a woodchuck isn't either.
-- Concerned friend to those more furrier than I

A: Wow. I don't know how much a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. It is one of those questions that I prefer to leave unanswered. Because if a woodchuck could chuck wood would he want to chuck it for someone else or would he just chuck wood for himself? And what exactly is chucking wood. The only context I have ever heard chuck used in is upchucking and that phrase is rather unpleasant.





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